full image - Repost: Scarlett fever but Cody is Scarlett (from Reddit.com, Scarlett fever but Cody is Scarlett)
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Chris:Last episode of "total drama"Went down nice and easy -One juggy chunk at a time.Then it was timeFor a stomach turning gameOf hurl and go seek.With his heart broken,Trent voted himself off.And...that's about it.Absolutely nothing strangeHappened!Just like nothing'sHappening now! Nope!Nothing to see here!Uh, just a regular day!Get ready for... (Hard thump)Total drama...(Rumbling,Lightning strikes)Isla-(Static hisses)(Muzak plays)♪♪♪♪ I wanna be...I wanna be... ♪♪ I wanna be famous ♪♪ I wanna be...I wanna be... ♪♪ I wanna be famous ♪(Whistling chorus)(Lightning strikes,Wind howls)Bridgette:It's an earthquake!Gwen:No, it's a typhoon!No, it's a volcano!(Volcano rumblesThen erupts)A... Hawaiian donut volcano?Dreams can come true!(Sucks)What's afoot here?!I demand the host narrateAn explanation!No idea what you'reTalking about!Just need a minute here.(Remote fizzles)Bridgette:You've got ten secondsTo tell us what's happening.Chris:Whatever do you mean?(Whirring)You don't have vanishing treesIn australia?Bridgette:No.Uh... What about christmas?(Sighs) fine.The island's mostly artificial.(Everyone gasps)Chris:Yes, gasp.And we're having someTechnical difficulties, okay?It's nothing to worry about!Gah!Robotic voice:Self-destruct sequenceActivated.Island will explodeIn one hour.All:Self-destruct?! What?!Is that for real?!(Air horn blasts)Chris:Zip it! For your next challenge,One of you has to shut downThe self-destruct,Which is located inThis underground control room.There are three waysTo get there,So you'll split intoThree teams of two.The team that stopsThe countdown wins immunity.(Gasps)Uh... Can I see that?Chris:Sure.The fool!He just handed meThe key to the island!It's all mine!(Cackles evilly)Chris:So if there's no questions,Ready, set-Gwen:Of course we have questions!Why does an island haveA self-destruct setting?Geoff:What do we doWhen we find the control room?Sadue:Why do puppets have legs?We all know they can't walk!Bridgette:This is just a challenge, right?Our lives aren't reallyIn danger, right?!Chris:Silly Bridgette,Your lives have alwaysBeen in danger,Just never so seriously.But don't worry,I'll be right here to help you -From a safe distanceIn this helicopter.Geoff:Wait! If there's a helicopter,Why don't we all just escape?Chris:Ready, set, go!(Air horn blasts)This is crazy!I'm kinda freaking out.I wish Trent were here'Cause he always made me feel-Pull it together!Being doey-eyed for TrentAlmost got you eliminated!(Sighs)But then he eliminated himself.Did he do that to save me?Focus!I'm really losing it here.Robotic voice:T-minus fifty-five minutesAnd counting.We doing this or what?All right,Let's pick teams.(Gwen groans)Sadie:Looks like you're on team Sadie.Gir's night! Woo!(Vigorous grunts)Bridgette:We're close!That entrance should be...(Flames roar)Watch out!Bridgette:Hah! Right over... Here!What?! Oh, come on.I guess we gotta swim.I guess we gotta.Geoff is great!We have everything in common!Except the zombie thing...Which could be a deal breaker.But once he gets over itHe'll be perfect.Yeah, Bridgette rules.Once she develops a healthy fearOf the undead,She'll be perfect!On three! One... Two...(Gasps) shark!Bridgette:It'll be fine.Sharks are more afraid of youThan you are of them.If it gets close,Just punch it in the noseAnd it'll scram.Geoff:Really?Bridgette:Yeah, I saw it on tv once.Let's go!(Splash)(Grunting)(Growling)Ugh!(Shark whimpers)(Growls)I'm glad peeing in your pantsWhile underwaterGoes totally unnoticed.What happens in the pond,Stays in the pond.(Sniffs and gags)(Water rushes)(Landing thud)Oof!Sadie:We gotta buddy-upFrom here on in!We're the only two normals left.That's... Shockingly true.I'm like the girl versionOf you!Gwen:What?Sadie:Oops! I hope that wasn'tAs insulting as it sounded.I've just never met a girlWho didn't care about her looks.Sadie:You're insulting me now,When we have lessThan an hour to live?Just who do you-(Loud whirring)Hey! That must be the way in!Both: aggghhhhh!Sadie: or not.(Whirring)Gwen:There! C'mon!(Grunting)(Rumbling)Aggghhhhh!Gwen:Oh, great.Cody:According to this,The closest entranceTo the control roomIs under a rock...Right over... There.Duncan:Well? Which one?Come now, sidekick,We don't have all day!Why don't you ask them?Duncan:Finally a good suggestion!Perhaps you aren'tUtterly useless after all.You there, show me toThe control room at once!I said at once!Duncan:Owie! (Whack) doy!Gaaagggghhhhh!Heh. Perhaps you aren'tUtterly useless either.(Panting)Chris:Guys! Glad I caught you!I have good news!We're gonna live?!Chris:No, I said "good news."I can download the footageFrom all the camerasTo the helicopter,So, even after the islandblows up,I can still cut togetherAn episode!Glad you're enjoying the showWhile we risk our lives.Hey, you thinkYou got it hard?!The cappuccino makerOn this thing is terrible!(Slurps) oh, and try to avoidThe motion sensors.They set off crazy securityAll over the island.(Lasers hums)(Groans)Geoff:No problem.I got the same system in my yardFor zombie protection.First, I tried land minesBut, you know, squirrels.He's a work in progress.(Lasers hum)♪♪♪Okay,The zombie thing's bad,But the man's gotSome sweet moves.(Lasers hum)Oh, uh... After you.No. I believe it's...Your move.Chris:Guys! Seriously?!Clock's ticking!(Alarm wails)I gotta be honest,I didn't even notice the alarms.Robotic voice:Intruders detected.Releasing roboticSecurity units.(Fizzling)(Gasps in horror)But the killer robotsGot my attention.Chris:(Winces) ah...Well, that wasThe shortest season ever.Good luck, guys.I'm out!Geoff:Is this weird or scary?Bridgette:Both. Run!Aggghhhhhh!(Gasps)Bridgette:My hat!Phew! That was close.Geoff:Uh... Closer than you think.(Chomping)Bad head!(Fizzling and chomping)Geoff:Why does this keep happeningTo us?Sadie:Woo-hoo! That was great!Gwen:Uh... A little help?Gwen:Oof!Chris:Well, well, well,Look who finally decidedTo join us.Fyi, being more interestedIn each otherThan in saving your lives,Bri and Geoff managedTo set off security.So now the island's crawlingWith killer robot animals.What?!killer robot animals?Chris:Yeah, we had real animals,But the animal right's peopleWere all blah-blah-blah-blah,So we switchedTo robot animals.Some were crazy-violent though,So we caged 'em down here.Sadie: that makes sense.Gwen: does it?Chris:Point is...The halls are dangerous.You'd be way safer sneakingThrough the gear chamber.(Steam hisses)Gwen:What could be less safeThan that?Chris:Oh, you're about to find out.(Chuckles)(Sweet meow)Sadie:Aww! Who's a cute widdle kitty?Chris:Yeah, not that.Trust me.(Whirs,f*re roars)Gwen:I think we better run!(f*re roars,Gears whir)Hey, free eggs!This place rules!(Munching)I gotta say, for all her many,Many faults,Sadie's really goodAt staying positive.(Belches loudly,Bird tweets)Stay tuned to find outIf anyone is still aliveWhen they get blown up...(Laughs)Here on"Total drama island!"Duncqn:Agggghhhhhhhhh! Oof!Cody:Oof!Duncan:(Groans) oh...So much hurting.Cody:Now to find the control room.Chris:Duncan! Cody!Congrats on beingThe first to the control roomAnd subsequently,Not dying.We need a pass codeTo open the door.What is it?I keep it safely lockedAway at all times...Chris:In the control room.(Both groan)Chris:Just start hittingRandom numbers.It couldn't hurt.Oh! Except for the electricShocks that thing dishes outEvery time you get it wrong.Those'll hurt.(Phone rings)Oops! Gotta take this!It's the network.If I'm not backIn fifteen minutes,I hope you had a nice life.Duncan:Step aside, sidekick.Let's see...One, two, three.(Electric shock fizzles,Duncan screams)Nope.How about three, two, one!(Electric shock fizzles,Duncan yelps)Ahem! Let's tryOne, two, three again.(Shock fizzles,Duncan yelps)Keep going.I just know you'll get.He will; those doors can onlyDish out so many shocksBefore they short out.He'll open itOr die trying.It's a win either way.(Electric shock fizzlesAnd Duncan yelps)(Panel fizzles,Door clanks open)Cody:Yes!(Powering up whir)Robotic voice:Welcome, chris mclean.The island is mine!Mine!Duncan:Enough nonsense, sidekick.Step away!I. Am. Not. Your. Sidekiiiiick!Cody,You look... Different.This is the real me.The Cody that I've keptHidden until now.Biding my time,Waiting to strike!I! Am! Evil!(Maniacal laughter)(Sucking thumb)You should probablyStart running.(Evil chuckle)Oh! The loveable bruinThat enjoys divingAnd carbohydrates.(Robotic roar)Aaggghhhhhhhhhhh!(Robotic roar)Chris:Cody.(Nervous laugh)You look... Different.So you've almost won.All you gotta doIs shut it down.Just, you know,Disarm the self-destruct and uh-Cody:I need... Incentive.Your life isn't enough?There's an escape podConnected to this control room.I can leave any time I want.So bring meThe million dollars,Or I simply escapeAnd let the island explode.Chris:Yeah... I think you're bluffing.Perhaps you need a demonstrationOf the power I now have.(Beep)(m*ssile whoosh)Chris:Whoa! Ahhh! Ouch!Hey! Have some respectFor nature!Give me the million,Or you and this island are gone!You're forgetting one thing.The others will be thereAny second.Cody:(Laughs) no. They. Won't.Chef?!We've got an emergency!The foamy thingOn the coffee machineWon't work at all now.(Sips calmly)Also, Cody's gone rogueAnd is gonna blow up the island.We gotta warn the others!(Sips calmly)As soon as the foamy thingIs working properly again.Gwen and Sadie:Agghhhh! Ooof!Bridgette:Hey! Thank goodnessIt's you guysAnd not moreOf those crazy robots.Sadie:We've seen some crazy stuff too!It's a long story,But you gotta hear it-Robotic voice:Ten minutes to self-destruct.Sadie:I guess that's enough time.So first there wereThese holes-Cody:Guys! I'm so glad I found you!I'm in the control room,But you can't shut downThe self-destruct from here!Chris was lying.Bridgette: ugh! That figures.Gwen: typical.Cody:You can only shut it down here.Geoff:That's just down the hall!Bridgette:Good job, Cody!(Gasps of horror)Gwen:Well, this is a new levelOf creepy.Cody:Hope you like it.It's the last thingYou'll ever see!(Powering up)Sadie:This is worse than the timeMy uncle built a robot armyBy taping photos of his faceTo donkeys wrapped in tin foil.This is hard to admit,But I really want to meetSadie's family.Chris-bots:Total! Total! Drama! Drama!(Robotic laughing)Bridgette:It's like an army of zombies!Geoff:Z...z...zzzombieees!Aggghhhhhhhhh!Total!(Loud clank)Ow!(Fizzling and clanking)(Fizzling and clanking)Geoff:Head-shot! Head-shot!I should be scared,But something about watchingChris get demolishedOver and overIs so therapeutic.There comes a timeIn every girl's lifeWhen she has to stop whiningAbout her boyfriend'sZombie obsessionAnd accept thatShe has odd taste in men.This is that time.Total... Total... Total...(Powers down)(Breathing heavily)Chris:Guys! You're not gonnaBelieve this!Hey! What did you doTo my promo-bots?!Gwen:Uh, promo-bots?How do you think I didThe promotion toursFor the show?You think I wentTo all those malls myself?Kind of violentFor promo-bots!Chris:They gotta defend themselves!Do you have any ideaWhat the averageTotal drama fan is like?!Do you?!Sadie:Well, maybe you shoulda beenDown here helpin'Instead of sippin'Cuppa-kee-nose.First off,I'm onto smoothies now.(Slurps)Secondly,I don't like your tone.And thirdly -Thirdly!Dang,I had something for this.It was a big one, too.Hmm... Uh...Duncan:Aggghhhhhhh!(Groans)(Robotic growling)(Electronic fizzling,Loud explosion)(Lovesick sigh)Chris:Right! Thirdly,Cody has taken controlOf the islandAnd is gonna kill everyoneIf I don't give herThe million.Side note:I am not giving her the million.Bridgette: what?!Gwen: then what're we gonna do?Cody, please don't do-Cody:Attention vermin,Either chris brings meThe million,Or everyone gets eliminatedPermanently!You have...Robotic voice:Four minutes and counting.That is all.Gwen:Chris, he won't budge.Chris:You're right; chef, move usTo a safe distance.It's gonna blow.What?!You can't justLet us die!Um, yeah!You all signed a release.One million bucksIs a lot of cash.All:Please don't do this!How can you fly away?This is so not right!An x is not a signature!Chris:(Air horn blasts)Zip it!Just wanted to do thatOne last time.Later guys!Duncan:A-ha! I have an idea!Quick!Someone think of something!Bridgette:That's your idea?Sadie:Shh! No. He's right!Gwen:What can we do?Chris isn't coming!No chris means...(Gasps) that's it!I'll be right back!Chris:Right here - now!Cody:So... You finally cameTo your senses.Chris:I total... Total did.Cody:It was just a matter of timeBefore I knew you'd decideTo pay up.Cody: wha?Duncan: ha! I tricked you!Now who's more evil?!(Clattering thump)(Hisses)Duncan: help me!Sadie: raaaaarrrrr!(Fighting grunts)(Grunts and growls)Geoff:Uh, nice job, sugar.Robotic voice:Self-destruct in ten, nine,Eight, seven...Gwen:What do I do?!Bridgette:Control alt delete?Robotic voice:Four, three, two, one...(Keypad beeps,Self-destruct powers down)Robotic voice:Self-destruct terminated.Cody: aw!Gwen: wow.Chris:Guys, before you all die,I just want to say that-Oh! Whoa!You took down Cody? Nice.Way better than dying,Am I right?Bridgette:Yes! No thanks to you!Duncan:We're just lucky these robotsAre cursed with your ugly mugOr we'd-(Head fizzles,Duncan yelps in pain)Not the computer!Robotic voice:Island sector 'a'Combustion initiated.Island sector 'b'Cryo-activation completed.Chris:Great.(Flames crackle)I know I normallyHand these outTo those who are notBeing eliminated.But today, I feel a specialCeremony is called for.You are so eliminated!You're more eliminated thanAnyone's ever been eliminated!Even that beat-box guy!This whole island'sA freak show!Duncan:Yes, away with her!It's a shabby sidekickThat tries to usurp her master.I am the only true evilOn this islandAnd soon it will be mine!(Cackles evilly)Chris:Yeah, I'm done with evilFor now.(Chef cracks his knuckles,Duncan cackles)(Gasps)Inconceivable!Cody:No! Please! Don't send me awayWith him!Anyone but- (loud boom)Hiiiiiiiiiiiiim!Well, we almost testedThe big bang theory.But at least everything'sBack to normal.Tune in next weekTo see who stays in the gangAnd who goes bang!Here on"Total drama island!"
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