full image - Repost: Homophobic boss is destroying my mental health and I’m legally bound to a 90-day notice, what should I do? (from Reddit.com, Homophobic boss is destroying my mental health and I’m legally bound to a 90-day notice, what should I do?)
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TLDR: boss found out I’m gay, has since made my life miserable. Trapped in a contract with a 90-day notice and I have almost no work experience or understanding of how to build my career.As a preface, I work in the US and the state my company is based out of has no discrimination protection for LGBTQ+ people.I graduated college recently and a couple of months ago I started a new job in a field I’m very passionate about. I saw this job as a once-in-lifetime opportunity to work in this field (related to my lifelong hobby) and ended up leaving a part time internship in tech to pursue it. There were some major red flags that I was already upset about, like not being told I need to be on call 7 days a week, no PTO, less travel when it was posed to me as a travel job, and much lower pay than I was anticipating, but even with all of that I could pay the bills and was willing to grind it out for a year or two and see if I could use my company’s network to launch myself into something else in the same space. I know what a lot of you are probably thinking but this genuinely appeared to be a dream job and I had consulted many friends/family I trust before making the decision to accept the offer.The first few weeks of the job went well, I got along with my team and managers great and was acclimating very well to my tasks. Asked lots of questions, was proactive about taking on more tasks, everything I could think of. Everybody was encouraging and I was elated that I had followed through with taking the chance on this job considering some of the initial red flags. During this whole time I kept it under wraps that I was gay and had a boyfriend, my coworkers are all conservative, especially one of my managers. That all changed a few weeks ago.I had to take off work for a personal matter involving my partner’s family, and one of my two managers offered to send us a card with well wishes. When I said “my boyfriend’s name is ‘X’”, she loved the text and ended up never sending anything to us. What did happen, though, is the other manager, the very conservative guy, flipped a switch overnight and has started treating me horribly. He’s stopped short of directly addressing my sexuality but started bringing up how gay people are groomers and tries to make a snarky comment or homophobic joke at every expense. He’s almost gleeful when he does it. At my first month performance review, despite my team being nothing but encouraging, I was told from the manager that I was failing to meet basic expectations, and he ended up sending a wall of text with the CEO cc’d about all my shortcomings and “repeated patterns of mistakes”. I set up weekly meetings with my team leader and since then he continues to say nothing but positive things, I get the sense he feels bad for me but he answers to the manager and clearly isn’t willing to take my side. In the last two weeks, my manager has started ignoring my emails when I ask for feedback on some of the content I am making but will send an email to the entire team within a matter of minutes if he thought I made a mistake. None of these mistakes amounted to more than an incorrect cell in a spreadsheet and on several occasions he would blame me for something one of my team members would do or outright lie and say I was refusing to follow his directions on a project when he couldn’t have been more ambiguous with his directions. Refer again to the part where I said he ignores my emails where I explicitly ask for clarification. I hit my breaking point a couple of weeks ago when he assigned me a project that took two days for me to finish, and he not only didn’t respond when I sent over all of my work, but then brought up in our company call that he had “suddenly” decided the project was a waste of time.I need advice, I’m worried that I will be getting fired and the situation is getting worse on a weekly basis. I’m not even being given a chance to grow in the role anymore and my mental health has been thoroughly eroded. The company is so small that we don’t even have an HR department for me to report these things to. If it wasn’t for my partner and close friends’ support I would have believed my manager and thought I was completely incompetent.Most importantly, I signed a contract mandating a 90 day notice which I imagine will preclude future employers from currently hiring me. I’m thinking about submitting the notice soon but I feel trapped, I want out but don’t have a backup. Software dev jobs are hard to come by considering I don’t have a CS degree and only a couple months of experience, it took me almost six months of applying to find my internship this winter. Do I keep my head down until I find a dev job that can wait for me? What if I get fired? Any alternatives I can look into?
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