full image - Repost: How did you come to feel like getting your PhD is an accomplishment/something special? (from Reddit.com, How did you come to feel like getting your PhD is an accomplishment/something special?)
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For context, I'm a recent PhD graduate who's got a full time lecturer position with decent pay for my field/location. I don't think of myself as better than others/worthy of the ground I walk on being worshipped just because I have a PhD but I also don't feel like what I did is particularly noteworthy and I think a large part of that is the exploitation via low pay as a grad student that had me on assistance for years even though I had multiple side gigs to supplement my TAship while completing my PhD. Also, because I'm working amongst other professors, especially those who aren't on year to year contracts like I am, I'm surrounded by people with even more accolades. I don't envy them, but it does lead to the feeling that having a PhD is the bare minimum to exist in that space and therefore isn't special.My partner and sister keep telling me how what I did was a huge accomplishment that I should be proud of and logically, I get it. But often times, I only ever feel relief that it's over and not pride that I did it. I feel the same way about my publications - I'm going on my 6th, and yet it wasn't enough to get me looked at for any TT job. In fact, I never got a job from any of the applications I sent. The job I'm in now I never applied for - I was recommended to the department chair because someone I knew who knew the chair thought I'd be a good fit. The chair reached out to me, I accepted their offer, I got the job. I feel like on paper, nothing I did was impressive and I only have this job through "networking", which feels kind of slimy even though I LOVE the people I've met there and genuinely am excited to work at this institution. I'd like to feel some healthy joy/pride over this and I'd love to hear how others have worked past this weird "it's nothing special" block that feels somewhat like imposter syndrome, but notably different. I'd especially love to hear from fellow first gen profs/people who came from poverty because I have a feeling that some of those aspects of my background is playing into this.Thank you all for your time. I swear this isnt some pity party i'm throwing myself, but more of looking for ideas to be able to change my mindset and celebrate.
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