full image - Repost: My Anxiety over the Future Prevents Me From Living Now (from Reddit.com, My Anxiety over the Future Prevents Me From Living Now)
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"I'm going to die before I'm 40 because of your mistake" is a quote I think of fairly often. It is said to come from a political staffer the night Hillary Clinton lost the presidency. I, personally, think we would have been fucked regardless but...the time scale seems accurate.I became collapse aware 6 years ago now, in my mid 20s. I spent months wrecked with anxiety trying to find a way out of our current horrible predicament, but every stone I turned over was implausible.Carbon capture is a bust, green energy is a bust, degrowth is a bust, AI is a bust...and on and on for roughly 6 horrible months. Finally I just accepted that civilization, like fire, is a dissipative structure that will die out once all its fuel is burned.However at the time my personal life was static and stalled. I was in a job I didn't care about, in a place I didn't care about, without a strong social network and having just ended a long term relationship. I became vegan, picked myself up and moved someplace that was much more fitting for me and my lifestyle.I have noticed then that I cycle. Periods of anxiety "centered around climate collapse" that actually had to do with personal issues and personal perturbations.I am in this place again, but I find it exceedingly difficult to tear my way out. Things I studied years ago and expected to happen in 2050 *are happening now*. The world feels worse and my pessimism is now much more wide-spread. I did not anticipate famine in my youth - now I wonder if I'll experience some sort of famine event within the next 5 years. How will I break out this time? The issue is that it's rational fear, but without the power to be productive with that fear. I can only keep going, collecting my paycheck to get to the next one while never building the resilience needed for what lies ahead.
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