full image - Repost: Feeling overwhelmed about a friends suicidal thoughts/behavior (from Reddit.com, Feeling overwhelmed about a friends suicidal thoughts/behavior)
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Hi everyone, been lurking on here for a few months now and I finally just need an outside perspective on this, as it’s been ongoing from about May. Incoming long post.I [24F] have a best friend [25F] who lives about an hour’s drive from me in the Bay Area. We’ve been close since high school, and maybe the only one of my friends I could see myself rooming with down the line (I’m currently living at home, planning to move out next summer.) She’s very kind, funny, and is so on my wavelength I never get tired of her.She graduated from college in December (she worked while a student to pay for tuition), and since has not been able to find a job. She was raised by a single mom, and has a very complicated relationship with her I won’t get into here. Some background—both of us are Indian-American. Her parents were never married, dad is alive, has other kids and lives in a different state, no contact as he left them before my friend was born. She has a diagnosis of clinical depression, and has panic attacks. (I have general anxiety disorder).Since about May, her mom and her argue almost every week about her habits and how she hasn’t settled into her career yet. These very often lead her to spiral. The current pattern is talking to her one on one, if I can, in person. This seems to ease her mind for a few days (in which I’ll still be talking to her frequently) until she calls our close group of friends in the middle of the night (usually around 3 am), and has obviously been kept awake by panic. She’s told me her suicidal urges have been present since she was a kid, but it’s never been as bad as this year. During the group call, she’ll open by saying something like “I wish I could just die already.”One of the worst times was in June, she sent me (along with 3 others individually) videos of herself at 5 am saying how much she loved me, but she couldn’t keep doing this. Her suicide attempts have always been very thought out (this one-intrusive thoughts of driving off the road/into he barrier while all her friends were sleeping. eventually she picked up one call and we convinced her to drive back.) I was asleep, and woke up maybe 15 minutes later from all the calls. I freaked out, and when I couldn’t get a hold of her, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.Some ways I’ve tried to help: - she is currently seeing a therapist - her meds were acting up early this year, and that process of finding which ones work still hasn’t concluded - plans to move out together (her mom’s quite toxic, not narcissistic, but definitely blaming her for things that aren’t her fault) - meeting up in person when I can (she’s very physically affectionate with friends), and sending her texts affirming that I care about her all the time- getting my dad, mom, brother, along with our family friend network to help her find a job (this hasn’t worked so far because even with a referral, she still needs to fill out an application which she usually doesn’t , saying “what’s the point”) - our group of friends without her sometimes meet up specifically to talk about how to help herThis week, it’s bad again. Her mom actually is waiting on biopsy results from a tumor they found in her ovaries. She routinely has called me every day this week around 2 am, lasting about 2-3 hours. I’m so exhausted at work when her spirals happen, and am so paralyzed with fear of missing one of her calls when this happens. This was very long and rambling, but any advice is appreciated.TLDR: Suicidal best friend, any advice that I haven’t tried?
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