full image - Repost: The plants in my garden never grew any vegetables (from Reddit.com, The plants in my garden never grew any vegetables)
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It was the fifth year now.The fifth fucking year. Every summer since I moved into this place, I’ve always made an attempt to grow a garden. The thought of picking fresh vegetables out of my own yard brought me back to my childhood. In my opinion, they always taste better grown that way too. On top of that, it seemed like every single person in this neighborhood had their own, lush garden. I could go down a list of reasons why I wanted to grow one. For whatever reason I might use, I believed the work needed to prepare the soil, plant the seeds, and tend to water and weeds was well worth it.I want to make this known so you will understand my frustration when I tell you that I have not harvested a single vegetable from my garden in all of this time. I do everything right. All of the plants are in the perfect place for sunlight. I always make sure they have enough water. What doesn’t make any sense is that the plants themselves grow just fine. They grow tall and healthy, showing their beautiful green color to all the neighbors.I’ve switched it up plenty of times through the years. I’ve tried to grow corn, cucumbers, zucchini, radishes, tomatoes and peppers of every kind you can imagine. None of them bore a single thing the whole time they grew. This was the one thing I wanted, ever since I could even contemplate the possibility of owning my own house, I had the dream of growing my very own garden. Well, I finally snapped.It was Halloween. Summer was over and the weather was turning sourer by the day. I had just gotten home from a long day of work. Sitting on my porch with a bowl of Kit-Kats for the early tricker-treaters, enjoying the sunset as I read a book, I began to think about my failure of a garden. I was becoming stressed out and frustrated at the mere thought of it. I set my book down and went into my garage to get a shovel, angrily marching out to my dying garden.If you’re not going to grow me anything, I might as well dig you up and start over.The thought came over me as I plunged the shovel through the dirt. I almost said it out loud, as if the garden could hear me talking to it. I put more emotion behind each thrust, putting in more momentum and driving my foot with all the force I could muster, digging deeper. As I kept going, I lost myself in anger but after a few minutes of this, I realized. I couldn’t believe I was taking my anger out on a garden. It was only a garden for fuck sake.I slowed down, I was about to stop before my shovel hit something solid. I heard a thump on impact, it wasn’t a rock. I jabbed the shovel twice more and heard the same thump both times. Interested, I dug around and scooped out some dirt with my hands, ripping apart networks of small roots to reveal a wooden plank. It didn’t appear to be on its own, more like it was a part of a larger structure, a box, or something.My emotional state turned from anger to excitement. Maybe I hadn’t been able to grow a garden in my yard, but I might have just found someone's hidden treasure. I dug even faster in my excited state than my angry one. I flung dirt all over, not even remaining attentive enough on keeping nice, neat piles. I ferociously worked to uncover the surface of this box and find its edges. The thought about what could be inside rattled around in my mind. The worst part was cutting through all of the roots around this thing. I had a hard time pulling most of them out with my hands, having to use the shovel to chop at them first. I took a step back, getting the whole picture.I immediately noticed its shape. It was that of a casket. It was an old one, or at least a makeshift wooden one. I stared at it in disbelief. This house wasn’t that old, why would there be a casket in the yard? It didn’t seem possible and at the moment, I shrugged the shape off as just being an odd one. I chopped at the roots that crawled around its edges, finishing them off. Reaching down slowly, I gripped the side of the casket and flipped it open.A set of empty eye sockets looked back up at me. Though what remained in the casket was far from a skeleton. Besides the skull, the rest of the naked body still had plenty of flesh remaining, too much flesh. The corpse had the musculature of a bodybuilder, more definition than I have ever seen in a living person. Its organs were visible, barely contained by the muscle tissue around them. Everything about this supposed corpse, besides the head, looked like it was still alive but the shape and size of the bone structure seemed inhuman. Its veins were shown clearly throughout its entire body, as it lacked skin. Each one was connected to roots, roots that crawled around its entire body, roots that filled the rest of the space in the coffin.I knelt, just to get a closer look but I started to hear something. I leaned in further, almost touching this grotesque corpse. I stopped my breathing to listen. The rhythmic beat of a heart filled my ear. I gasped, jerking myself up and stepping back. I felt my own heart beat faster and rise in my chest as I found myself breathing rapidly in fright.I ran inside and grabbed my phone. My fingers twitched nervously as I dialed 9-1-1.“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”“I just found a casket with a body in my yard but there's…there’s something wrong with it”.I proceeded to give the operator my location and she assured me that police were en route, only minutes away. After the call ended I ran outside again, to my freshly dug-up garden. I was stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes felt like they were about to burst from my skull as I looked before me to see a casket with no corpse. All that remained were the roots, still mended by the body they had been strung across, surrounding what was now only space in an empty casket. It was gone.I looked up and my eyes darted around, spinning my head in all directions. A chill crawled up my spine and I tensed up as I searched for the corpse. It was nowhere to be seen. The cops pulled up to my house a few minutes later and two officers stepped out of their vehicle. I saw them but paid little attention, still scanning around.“Are you the one who called it in”“What? Yeah…Yeah, I did but...it’s not here”.“When you called, you said there was a dead body, correct?”“I did, yes but look it’s not there. See?”I pointed to the hole in my garden. The officers approached but stopped at the edge, both leaning in to get a peek. They displayed confused expressions. The other officer who had yet to say anything let out a single chuckle as if he found this ridiculous and comical before shaking his head and turning the other way. The other sighed and looked toward me.“Are you aware that it’s illegal to abuse the use of 9-1-1?”“I didn’t abuse anything, sir. There was a body there just a few minutes ago, I don’t know-”“You don’t know what? What happened to it? You thought it would be cute to set up your little casket Halloween decoration and report a dead body to us. You dig it up now to make a little display just for us?”“No…well yes, I just dug it up now but I-”This made me think of something. I looked back at the hole, realizing my shovel was nowhere to be seen. Something hit my back. It felt like droplets of water from a sprinkler. A scream followed from one of the officers.Turning back, I made eye contact with the cold, dead eyes of the first officer and the tip of the shovel that ran through his head and split it apart. The shovel was ripped from the back of his skull and his body fell, head landing at my feet. I was now once again looking at the empty sockets of the corpse that had been under my garden. It turned towards the other officer, who had drawn his gun. The sound of the first shot shocked me so much, I fell to the ground.The officer popped off bullet after bullet as he retreated to his car, each one connecting with the muscle of the monster. The corpse didn’t so much as twitch in reaction. It kept its slow and steady pace walking toward the officer. The officer paused, taking a moment to make a well-placed shot. It grazed the top of the corpse’s skull and took a chunk with it. This angered it. In one swift and lightning-quick motion, it raised the shovel and threw it like a javelin, gliding through the officer before busting through the windshield of the patrol car, pinning him to it.While this happened, I had enough time to draw the gun out of the other dead officer’s holster. By the time I had it, I looked up to see the empty sockets of the corpse’s skull looking back at me. I booked it to my front door but by my account, it didn’t have any interest in a chase. As soon as I was inside, I slammed the door shut and locked it. I grabbed my phone and headed to the kitchen which had the back door to my house. I dialed 9-1-1 again, checking the chamber for a round while the phone rang.“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”“I just called a little while ago, your officers were just murdered right before my eyes. The…thing that killed them is outside of my house right now. It killed them with a shovel. A fucking shovel”.I screamed into the phone as I kept the gun raised in the direction of the entryway.“You need backup. Lots and lots of backup. Please, get here soon. It’s-”A boom echoed through the house. I trembled at the sudden noise, raising the gun and my shaky hands that held it. The front door creaked open and footsteps followed. They only took a few steps inside before they stopped.“It's been a long, long time”.It could…talk? I didn’t expect that. I tried to reason with it.“What do you want?”It seemed to ignore me.“All this time, dreaming of this day. The day I would rise and feast on the world once again. Oh, it feels good. I don’t want to go back”.I began to shake even harder, looking over at my back door, ready to make a run for it at any second.“Of course, I have you to thank for all of this”I looked back to see the corpse staring at me from across the hall.“I just needed the fuel and if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have gotten it. You, feeding me all these years, preparing me for this day. Oh, come on boy. Haven’t you always wanted your own little garden? Here I am”.The flesh that bound the bottom jaw to the top retracted back. It was smiling at me. I felt dazed like I was about to throw up. It turned its head back to the front door. Sirens began to approach from the distance. It could tell, it knew what was coming. I took the opportunity, swinging the door open and sprinting through the backyard and the row of trees that separated me from the neighbors.I ran faster than I could think. Through backyard after backyard, I sprinted. Gunfire erupted from behind me but I kept going. It sounded as if a war had broken out and a battle was taking place in my neighborhood. Soon I emerged into the next street but I kept running.I forgot about the handgun I was still holding. A kid in a Jedi costume noticed, dropping his plastic lightsaber and plastic pumpkin full of candy, screaming as he ran away from me. The dozen or so other kids and some of the adults who accompanied them on the street noticed this too. They screamed and ran as well. I thought about saying something but I didn’t bother. Being scared and on the move was probably for their own good. They didn’t know what was behind me.A man emerged from a house in front of me with a shotgun and aimed it at my head.“Stop right there!”I did as he said. I was becoming more aware of the situation that seemed like it was creating. I raised my right hand with the gun above my head and did the same with my left, showing him my empty palm.“Listen, something is coming. I didn’t shoot anyone, I swear. We have to get out of here or stop it or-”“What the fuck are you doing, waving a gun around, scaring all these kids out trick-or-treating? Drop the fuking gun”.Not wanting to get a faceful of buckshot in the street, I dropped the handgun and kept my hands raised.The man turned back inside his house and I could faintly hear him say to someone“Call the police”.He turned back towards me, adjusting his aim. Something caught his attention and he looked slightly to his left before something collided with his face and knocked him to the ground. It exploded on impact and spewed an orange substance everywhere. It was…a pumpkin? I looked to my right to see the corpse walking toward me. It was bleeding profusely and had many obvious holes ripped in its tissue and an even larger chunk torn out of its skull. In one hand it held a jack-o-lantern and with the other, it pointed at me.“I’m not finished with you yet”It yelled to me. I glanced down. The gun was only a leaping distance away. It seemed like my only choice. I dove but something hit me before I could make it. It threw the other pumpkin. It fell apart when it hit me, pieces of its shell flying about. I fell on my back and began to gasp for air, it knocked the wind out of me and I could tell at least a few ribs just broke. I felt aching all over my body. It even hurt my neck to turn and look at the corpse approaching me.A gunshot rang through the air and the corpse stumbled back. It recovered and rose only for it to be shot again, this time tripping and falling to the ground. I flipped myself over and began pushing myself from the ground. It took two attempts to get myself up. I looked up to see a woman on the porch, holding the shotgun the man had been aiming at me. I then looked back down and locked my eyes on the handgun. I picked it up as I stumbled back to my feet.I was still shaking and in pain, it limited my ability to hold the sights straight and I knew I couldn’t be very accurate but I wasn’t far from my target. I shot rapidly, some bullets making contact, some hitting the ground. Behind me, the woman continued to blast the corpse with the shotgun. I was empty and with her last shell, she shattered its skull to pieces. Its black brain splattered and painted the pavement. The corpse wasn’t moving anymore.I retreated to the porch of the house next to the one with the woman holding the shotgun, keeping my empty gun trained on the now lifeless corpse. More sirens were approaching. After a few minutes, I sat on the stairs and lowered the gun, setting it on the step next to me. I dearly hoped it was finally over.An armored police truck pulled onto the street we were on followed by a caravan of all sorts of emergency vehicles. Ambulances, fire trucks, and even police from some of the towns around ours. Some stopped on our street, some moved onto my street. The police that stepped out of the armored truck was equipped with heavy body armor and rifles. They surrounded the corpse in the street.The woman on the porch screamed for the paramedics. A few of them ran to her and her husband lying on the ground. I heard the woman cry out in relief and thank them over and over when one of them said her husband was going to be alright. I got up and limped my way over to them. I talked with the paramedics for a while and let them know I was injured as well.“You’re going to have to wait. There are others with more life-threatening injuries we need to attend to”I didn’t respond except for nodding my head. I overheard someone else in the crowd of first responders say“We’ve got seven dead officers and dozens of dead civilians, with twice that many injured. We don’t know what the hell just happened”.Hearing this, I lowered myself to the curb, sitting down gently to not hurt myself even more. I watched the woman walk with the paramedics as they carried her husband on a stretcher into the ambulance and she waited outside as they shut the door. She watched the ambulance leave before taking a seat next to me on the curb. I tried to muster something to say, failing. I wanted to apologize to her for what happened to her husband but I didn’t know how to say it. Sorry, I dug up that monster in my yard. I don’t think anyone, including myself was ready to process that. Looking at the side of their house, I opted for a different topic of conversation.“That’s a lovely garden you have”She laughed, looking over at it like I was. She paused for a moment and then let out a sigh.“Yeah, it might look lovely but I don’t know what’s wrong with it. Ever since we moved into this place, the plants we grow have never given us anything. We haven’t gotten a single vegetable. Must be something in the dirt”.
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