full image - Repost: I feel like an awful partner... (from Reddit.com, I feel like an awful partner...)
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I'll try to make this brief but if anyone can understand I'm sure it is the people in this sub reddit.I get very frustrated with my SO's BM, but i dont say anything because i feel it is not my place. Also SO asks me not to get involved, so i don't. She is very entitled and expects everyone to just cater to her. She has a work schedule that kind of fluctuates and no family or support network in this area so she relies heavily on my SO and his family to help with SD's pick up/drop off from school. How it is supposed to be: BM either does drop off or pick up, which ever her work schedule will allow. SO will take his hour lunch to do which ever one she can't. How it has been: SO gets a text or a call "I can't do my time because my boss is offering me extra hours and I need the money. Can you figure out what to do?" If he says he can't help, she calls me then if I say no, she goes to his Aunt or Grandmother. If they can't help, then she cries and whines to my SO so he will convince one of us to help her.Now I would have sympathy for a single mom trying to make ends meet, but this is not the situation. Her fiance is in trades and she has bragged on many occasions how he makes over 100k a year. They have new cars, they own a house, they are going to some tropical island this week.... so yeah.Annnnnd she doesn't even say thank you. To anyone. Last week we had a snow storm. His aunt was doing her pick up and said asked if she could just keep SD at Aunt's house for the day so she didn't have to risk the drive in the snow. BM said no because they are going on vacation this week and she didn't want her to miss anymore school. So I did that drive. And it was terrifying btw. Anyway...So she dictates our schedules every week. Then, we have SD 50/50 (no legal custody agreement). BM has told SD that we don't "take care of her properly" also called my SO lazy because during the week he doesn't prepare a big hearty breakfast. He has already altered what goes into SD's lunch to accommodate BM demands. Fast forward to yesterday. We are in a department store and SO says "we should get deodorant while we are here for SD" I say, "I just bought her some." And he goes, "Yes, but her mother wants her to have this kind". It's $16.00. SIXTEEN DOLLARS FOR DEODORANT!? I snapped. I started ranting in the middle of the store about how this woman runs our lives and everything she wants he does and he needs to stand up to her and get a formal agreement because he just let's her keep walking all over him like in their relationship....My SO snapped back about how I didn't understand. He just doesn't have as much money as them and they could just take his daughter. He is terrified that's what's going to happen. I told him that it's an excuse, he just doesn't like conflict. If he was that scared he would want a legal agreement.Now I'm thinking about it and I admit I could have started the conversation differently, I was just so frustrated. Now I feel like he is not going to feel supported by me... I don't know... maybe I'm not cut out for this step mom life...
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