full image - Repost: AITA for refusing to meet my Mom's new boyfriend? (from Reddit.com, AITA for refusing to meet my Mom's new boyfriend?)
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My Dad passed away in February of 2023. He died as a result of complications from an operation he underwent in 2020 to remove a brain tumor. By May/June of 2023, my mom started receiving flowers from a man who lives several hours away, & has no mutual connections to my Mom (I have no idea how they met). He started staying at hotels on the weekends to spend each day with her Fri-Sun. He's now staying at my parents home for days/weeks at a time. I have refused to meet him, I do not visit her when he is around. I now rarely see her, and if we make plans to visit she usually cancels on me to spend time with him. My younger brother still lives at home, and he's also really bothered by this guy's presence. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't see an issue with a parent finding a new partner after the other dies, however my Mom appears to be suffering some sort of mental illness since roughly 2017-2018, when my Dad's tumor was discovered. She became extremely paranoid, cruel, & isolated herself. To keep things brief- she's become very alt-right (not even the most obscure alt-right conservative news media is extreme enough for her), wholeheartedly believes all kinds of conspiracy theories, and has stocked up on w**pons & supplies in preparation for the "end times". I have no problem with her political beliefs, in fact we do share some in common, but she is so obsessed she refuses to think about anything else. After my Dad got sick, she became cruel towards him, calling him stupid, useless, etc & even harming him. He spent his last few years disoriented & in a dementia like state. She became obsessed with the idea that his (very supportive) side of the family was "out to get her" & refused to allow them to visit him- or us. They still did but there was lots of threats & yelling from my Mom. She also denied him adequate health care (POA over him). My Mom has basically no contact with anyone except this guy who, of course, shares her beliefs. According to my brother who still lives at home, he's convinced her to spend thousands renovating my parents house, buying a new car, & remain isolated from extended family. She also constantly talks bad about my Dad (who was an absolute saint by all accounts) & his family to this guy, who encourages it. My Mom doesn't understand why I hate her boyfriend so much. She says things like "I can't believe you'd want me to spend the rest of my life alone". No Mom, the issue isn't you finding a new partner. The issue is that you destroyed the only support system I had when I needed them most (a functioning family network), continue to resent my Dad for no other reason than because his tumor made him "stupid" (her words), & immediately dedicated spending all your time with a stranger who shares your delusions, with no regard for the fact that your children are still struggling with grief. I took care of my Dad when he was sick, I would have happily done the same for her when she's old. Now I won't even see her.
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