full image - Repost: Should I “re-invent” or learn to just accept myself? (from Reddit.com, Should I “re-invent” or learn to just accept myself?)
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20m (AUADD). Last summer after I took a gap year and felt like I did a lot of self-improvement/working on myself I felt on the one hand lonely but on the other hand really like rejuvenated and hopeful. I went into first yr Uni and did overall well, met some new people and made some new friends etc. But one thing I’m really learning is even after a year or years it’s hard to really change yourself overnight ofc, and even if you succeed in one thing you’ll keep wanting something new or better or feel pressure to do more. Like I said I made some new friends but I’m not great at frequently texting/keeping in touch w ppl except my best friends. For context it’s not like I want or need to be someone who’s super popular, but I want to feel like I have a community or network of at least like 5-10 ppl I’m really comfortable with and I sort of am getting there but not entirely. I still feel lonely, awkward in conversations and quiet, and I feel alright today but frequently worry abt my sense of identity and how I present myself to people and my uni/career path and how I’m gonna make a good impression on people and make more friends, be successful etc. A while ago I saw this thing that talked abt “re-inventing yourself” and just working on or removing the parts about yourself you don’t like. Sounds great in theory but not really that clear and simple in practice for me especially w a neurodivergent brain. I feel like autism makes it particularly hard to ofc change how I am in social situations, my routines and habits, what I like and don’t like and do and don’t do etc and I’m still a high-masking person w a lot of flexibility. The whole idea of “re-inventing” myself just sounds a lot like masking but it’s tempting when idk if being the current “me”, or my current masking really works, especially when I know a lack of confidence comes from a lack of authenticity.So I’m wondering how do I work on my flaws that are social and emotional, without like changing who I am basically, and get out and “be myself more” etc. I accept my autism and the good and bad of it a like, but how do I make it work better for me lol? Kind of a complicated question but idk I feel like people here have some good things to say :).TLDR: I still have the same social issues while improved that I did last year, how do you guys improve interacting w and being your authentic selves around other people more?
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