full image - Repost: Shelf dating until weight loss, my therapist says otherwise. Thoughts? (from Reddit.com, Shelf dating until weight loss, my therapist says otherwise. Thoughts?)
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Hello,So I'm 5'1, 200, a few months short of 39. I focused on career. Whatever I did or didn't do with my time, this is obese, not "curvy."I never make enough time for myself. Just doing basic tasks like getting my nails done every week at home myself.. I have a hard time keeping up with because of time available.I'm going to try to change that. Instead of doing another certification, I'm moving it to late next year to open up some free time so I can get to gym.I feel like my time is very strapped. But don't worry, the house chores get taken care of as well as everything needed to get to work the next day. *Sigh.I was telling my therapist that I would like lose weight before I start dating. That it could be anywhere from 6 months to maybe 10 months.He is sking why do I feel I need to wait. I have explained to him that I feel at this current weight I'm going to have a hard time finding somebody with a good career ETC.I explained, I'll need a new wardrobe (I really only have house clothes and scrubs in my closet these days) and because I've been preparing I already know that I'd like to get some professional photos done with a mix of them using my camera phone.I told him I don't have any mental disorder on looks. I told him I know I don't have to be as thin as 90 lb (I'm 5'1)..but at least being under 150 could really open my options. Per my DEXA scan, 125-130 would be ideal.But it's not like I'm waiting to be 126.76 on the scale or anything.He talks about self acceptance, etc. I mean personally I am in healthcare. I told him I don't think anybody at this height should accept this weight it's not healthy, etc.I would be looking for marriage, to me it would make sense to wait. Basically I don't feel I could reach my full potential of "high caliber" guys Id have access to at this level.I mean like I told him, in this world, since I don't have a network that can introduce me to people.I would to use dating apps, and if people don't like the photos they're not going to read about the person.Am I missing something with his advice? Am I wrong?
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