full image - Repost: Trying to learn how to properly date in 2022 (from Reddit.com, Trying to learn how to properly date in 2022)
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Been needing this advice for a while but only just getting the courage to really come out and ask.I am a late 20s male living in a big city in the US. I haven't been in a real "relationship" in about 10 years now... had a couple successful, meaningful romantic relationships from the end of High School through college and then really went through that phase of trying to figure myself out... some mental health struggles, body image issues and fluctuations in my habits. Fast forward and after some years of therapy, self help, healthier habits, I've done a lot of work to repair my relationship with myself and work on my identity. I feel that I have an idea of who I am, what I want, what I can and can't control, and I try my best to be kind to myself and others and it has been useful in forming very genuine frienships with many people. I am grateful to have a large network of friends, but only a small handful of them live local to me now (I relocated to a city for work).Loneliness gets to me. The pandemic definitely emphasized it, but I made it a goal to seek dates/a romantic relationship throughout 2021 and 2022. I struggle a bit with self confidence but I feel that my social skills are enough to keep me afloat when it comes to trying to befriend women. So I start there - wether it be from naturally meeting women or through dating apps I just try to be friendly and seek common interests, discussions about ways we relate to each other, and then when things go well I look for opportunities to spend time together hanging out to get to know each other better.This year I have had periods of "dating" a couple different women. Things haven't quite worked out and I understand thats part of the game, need to keep trying. But sometimes I can't help but think maybe its me... maybe I should be doing something different.The first girl and I talked for several months through the end of 2021 and beginning of 2022. We had similar interests and lived close to each other, seemingly had some physical attraction. She was quick to send "spicy" photos and we would speak intimately (which almost felt premature for me having not been in a relationship for a while). I would invite her to go out to events around the city, dinners, general "date" type stuff and she would accept and seemed to think it was sweet but nothing like that ever worked out... she'd bail on plans, then on the weekend she'd say I could come hangout at her place late in the evening. I kind of saw where this was going and things fizzled out a bit until eventually I noticed she was onto the next guy and we stopped talking. Tried not to overthink this one, it is what it is people seek different things - moving on.The second girl also lives close to me and we share a bit of the same social circle/interest in the same events within the arts and music scene. We met through a dating app, we're friendly and flirt a little bit but haven't gone out together yet. This has been a couple months now of our life schedules not quite matching up, I have invited her to a few things when she wasn't available, she invited me out once when I was unavailable... so we're stuck in the texting loop. She will text me a few times a week but the conversations dead end a lot as there is only so much I can do to keep digging through our mutual interests.The third girl I met shortly after the second girl. She lives a little further away, but we both drive so can visit each other within an hour. We immediately hit it off, conversations felt so natural, we have voice calls and play games online together. Went out for a nice dinner to meet and it was very enjoyable. That night she said she'd love to hangout more so we set another date to meet up a week later. The only red flag I saw was that she recently (this summer) ended a multi-year relationship with a partner who she lived with throughout the pandemic. Anyway, we keep talking and frankly I'm crushing on this girl a bit. Liked her personality and attitude a lot and thought we meshed well but we still didn't quite know each other since its early. Time comes for our follow up date and she says sorry she needs to cancel, I say yeah no problem thats fine let me know when you want to do something some other time. Now its radio silence since then...I'm a little bummed out. Don't want to overthink this too much but kind of can't help it. I know I'm not particularly flirtatious, I kind of feel like I "have no game" if that makes sense. I really try to temper my expectations and not be unreasonable because I really don't know these people that well and certainly don't have a full perspective on their feelings or thoughts on our interactions. Almost to the point where I want to outright ask whats going on, but I don't really know how to do that without coming off as weird and too forward. The only thing I can control is myself and how I act. What should I be doing differently? How do you find a companion in 2022??
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