full image - Repost: My ( f42) ex boyfriend ( 40m) threatening self harm if we don't have a final conversation (from Reddit.com, My ( f42) ex boyfriend ( 40m) threatening self harm if we don't have a final conversation)
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TLDR: My ( f42) ex boyfriend ( 40m) allowed our relationship to get tarnished because of his lack of boundaries with his family. I never felt so bad about myself. I almost never felt loved, and.the only way to get him to treat me better was to do what he wanted. I needed to take care of my health and realii that distancing myself from him actually helped my health. I finally decided to end things and his family is pressuring me.I'm fed up with my ( ex) boyfriend's antics. I've been on a wellness journey because I was concerned about my health ( body aches, shortness of breath, weight gain, stiff muscles, posture, and mental burnout). Never, in my 7 months journey has he offered any kind of support, despite having learned massage therapy as a hobby. We've had strong issues because I not only love, but NEED hot water baths as it helps my muscles. I would get the tub super clean and fill it up only to find that he had drained it, wasting bath products that had been poured in, my Epson salt, everything. He said it was because his family was coming over and it looked weird if they went into the bathroom, and that me soaking while they came to visit was antisocial and that they prefer that bathroom should they need to shower. There's another full bathroom in the hallway, I just don't understand why he couldn't respect my space. The last time he did that I just cried so much that I just stopped filling the tub. I gave up.I've lost 46 lb and have gone from walking to running 2 miles a day, something I was unable to do even as a fit teenager because I would lose my breath. I went from 40" waist to 23". Don't mind losing breast volume at all. Don't mind losing hip width either. I can carry a box full of stuff on my shoulder and not be panting within seconds.I started to notice that solitude helped me improve my mental health. I own a corporate group, all done from scratch and the ground up. The stress was making my mind really foggy, and I can't afford that as we acquired a competitor and strategy falls on my shoulders. I took a mental health break for a month, hired companies to outsource part of the functions and saw my work day end 5 hours earlier, my managers are now focused on a further expansion and the 9 figure agreement we'd been vying for is now being negotiated because everyone is focused. I promise it's not as glamorous as it sounds, lots of freak out moments for all teams involved.I've neve been materialistic, but I realized that staying at my boyfriend's house while I'm in town is a bad choice because while I share my stuff with him, he's been pressuring me to give him stuff and this created 75% of our problems and most of my stress related maladies because I resisted and he was being disrespectful.I rented my own place, which made him angry. I hired a masseur, and he accused me of trying to get a yoni massage. I rented a small and cost effective studio in a super safe area and with security. It's very simple, but I'm feeling much better. I know it's old fashioned, but I bought a shit ton of mega corny Barbara Cartland novels that I'm reading and I get to go to bed whenever I want to, talk about business out loud without worrying about him, etc. Last night, I informed him that we are done. He cried, which was infuriating. He also threatened self harm, which is very unfair. I immediately blocked him everywhere. His family has been sending me videos of him crying and talking in a way that doesn't make any sense. I block them and they keep contacting me from random numbers. I'm so freaked out that I paid a rescue network and enrolled a bunch of students to capture the dozens of cats and dogs that I've been feeding around the city to be spayed/ neutered and be kept at a free range shelter. I don't mind doing this, I was gonna do it anyway, but I'm concerned because he knows I love those animals. My dad lives so far it almost counts as living abroad. I'm just confused as to why he's giving up his dignity like this. They are asking me to talk to him. I already said phone only, no personal encounters. He's begging for one last conversation and I don't even know what to talk about. What can I do? How can I handle this? Advice appreciated.
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