full image - Repost: I'm starting to break. (from Reddit.com, I'm starting to break.)
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I (22F) recently graduated college and moved back home cause I had nothing lined up due to senior year being particularly rough.Since I've been in a pretty bad spot for the past few years, I've been really focused on personal growth and goal setting, going to therapy, working on my self esteem/confidence, developing hobbies, comparing different career paths, and applying for internships/entry level jobs.Unfortunately, things have declined into a bit of a slump lately. I don't have any further savings to my name so I've become entirely dependent on my parents and this has driven me to put basically all my energy into job applications. I've applied to many jobs over the past few months and I managed to get one offer but I ended up having to decline as the job had too many red flags for me, it just did not seem like the right opportunity and my family did not feel good about it, either. I haven't had any other responses from employers since then. I'm starting to get extremely burnt out going from application to application, pumping out cover letters (most of the jobs I'm interested in require them), and making sure everything looks perfect before pressing submit. I'm at the point where I can no longer pay for my therapy as I am completely out of savings. I don't really get to spend a lot of time on career paths or hobbies since I'd rather get as many apps in as possible.I also have little to no social life. I made a handful of friends in college and they've all moved far away. I've had a few pop into town for the holidays and we've gotten a bite to eat but then they just left again. I really feel a lack of community in my life and I'd love to meet new people but there's really not a lot of good opportunities to do that in my hometown as most meetups are targeted for older age groups. Landing a job in a different state/city was supposed to fix that but...well, we've seen how that's gone.I've been desperately trying to cling on to what I've learned in therapy about keeping a positive mindset and knowing that good things can still come despite many failures/rejections but I'm really starting to break. I just want to get lucky once. I can't fix the fact that I didn't network properly in school. I can't fix the fact that I don't have anymore personal savings. I can't fix the fact that I didn't make many friends or find a partner in college.All I can do is hope for that amazing opportunity to come my way. The waiting game is just getting really, really difficult and I'm starting to feel myself breaking down.
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