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Relapsing into suicidal thoughts again. I just feel utterly hopeless about my situation. My abusive father finally left a year ago. But now my mum is talking to him again. He keeps wanting to move back in and my mum is now trying to support him despite her denial she doesn’t (she’s done this before). Now she’s planning to visit him next year to ‘sort things out.’ I’m 25f, still doing a masters conversion psychology course which is now taking me 3 years to do instead of 1. I’ve recently been diagnosed with CPTSD which isn’t particularly fun. I have a part time job as a research assistant with low, inconsistent pay. My job applications are getting rejected. I desperately need to move out. I can’t fucking network because my social anxiety stops me from doing what I want to do, despite being in therapy for a year and on medication for it. And now I feel like I’m running out of time because my Dad wants to come back here. And I want nothing to do with my mum after this betrayal. I feel so stupidly naive and stunted. I hate myself. I want to die, I can’t live like this. If I can’t get a job and move out by January I will kill myself.
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