full image - Repost: Worried about my female boss !!! (from Reddit.com, Worried about my female boss !!!)
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I M30 work for this 45F female as her assistant. We share a corner of the office. Her table is perpendicular to mine in a way that it forms an L and we basically work side-by-side.I'm at this company for 2 years now. We manage the finances of a 50M in sales dairy company in the countryside. I myself had my own business and came from a big city. My family have always been above average socially and financially. I went to the best schools in my country.When I entered this company I was treated a bit harshly, but after they saw the difference in the professional level I had from what they were used to, I gained a bit of respect. But still, i'm nothing at this company. During covid my family moved to our country house and ended up staying, and because of this I work at this place.My boss is an older women, she has one dauther, her culture is a bit harsh from living in the countryside. She had this daugther with a divorced guy that she fell in love with and married. She still is married to this guy, but he makes way less money than her, and lives in a city 2 hours apart from where we live. He usually comes to see them in the weekends. His personality is of a complicated guy, he has 2 others sons from his previous marriage, both adults. He keeps jumping from job to job.All this info i got from normal conversations from day to day. I don't talk much, and don't share much details about my personal life, but since it is a small town, I get that the culture of the office is to share. Now, about a year ago I started noticing a constant contact in my boss web whatsapp. She uses the Web whatsapp a lot and I can't help but notice her conversations. We don't really share computers, but I do use hers now and then. This contact didn't have a photo profile picture like all others. The image was of an old Soldier, it was of a crusader, black background and using those metal garments used in medieval times, basically an image of an old crusader.My boss is not ugly, but not pretty either. She doesn't really take good care of herself, has no sense of style, but has a skinny frame, sadly with a belly bump. If she didn't have that belly and took style lessons, she could be a 7-8, but being who she had to be, she became kinda 'mean' and 'masculine' so you get turned of pretty quickly. Now with all her story of basically raising her daughter by herself, with the 'help' of her psychologically unstable and old mother that lives with her and her daughter, she is a bit alone. In the workplace I have experience and know how to deal with her. Sometimes I can see and feel how lonely and fragile she gets, but I never wanted to give her any 'ideas' with me, so I keep it very professional. I still bring her flowers one day or two in the year, but nothing beyond that.Now, once a year i stay in the dairy store, covering for the main guy that takes vacations. Some time ago, her husband before leaving town went to the store when I was there together with the company president. They all know eachother and he, the husband, commented that he had to come more to visit, because his wife was getting a 'boyfriend', so from this i know that for some time this guy was aware that my boss was in fact at least closer to someone other than him.Back to the computer, I saw the contact but never really snooped on her messages at that time, just noticed the constant communication. But she started getting really careless, and inevitably let me see things I didn't want to believe where true. The first messages I saw with this guy were so hard that i started having anxiety attacks around her anytime a saw them texting. The messages were soo sexual, but not I love yous, they were very dirty like messages between a dom and a sub, for those that understand what I mean. And to make things worse, with her husband she would keep the civil conversations. When I saw the content of her text, at first I didn't deal very well with it, couldn't look her in the eyes for days, and she noticed that. I had crazy anxiety attacks when I saw her messaging, it was complicated, but I never let her notice any of my reactions, I keep working the best I could, all I did was to walk away whenever a felt like I needed.I'm a computer guy, I don't believe I should have done this, but since this was terribly inhabiting my mind all week i had to know more, so I got a backup of her conversations with this guy, I was so scared doing this but I just felt like I had to know more about this guy. I got on her computer, got a backup from her texts with him, saved on a USB drive, deleted all evidence I did this, and emailed myself the content to read at home.Doing this helped me alot, helped me with the anxiety attacks and to better understand her. I probably will never tell her I did this. In the messages I learned that the guy is not single, that my boss lost all attraction to her husband, that her husband even suggested sharing her with another man, and she felt terrible for it and that this guy is a Cop. By the tone in the messages I see that my boss is very lonely and uses sexuality to have male attention. And I worry for her because of this. It is very sad. She looks at this guy instagram all day long. By this guy social network pages, I believe he doesn't want anything serious with her, and she still gives him everything he asks, audios, photos, late night sexual calls.His pages have no pictures of him, i believe he is a real player. He also constantly deletes his chats so no one can find out. Even deletes her contact sometimes. She knows he has a girlfriend, and she knows this woman. All the exchanges at least recently are online. This guy from time to time goes to the dairy store to by things, she goes to talk to him but I never saw she leaving work to see him.And her husband? He still tries to get her back, fully knowing that she still talks to him. I believe he read her messages at least once, because one time he tried to initiate a sexual conversation with her just like him, he tries to copy his style, but It doesn't work, she 'beta shames' him and calls him pervert. Which is normal, for her he is the father of her kid, she prefers to see him as the responsible guy. Now, she doesn't know that I know all of it, she respects me a lot because of my family and my example at work, she does have a soft spot on her with me, I feel bad for her pondering all they at the screen of her computer looking for this guy's attention, I myself have compassion for her life situation, but would like to see her have more self love and not 'lower' her self for male attention. Some days she is strong and even deletes his contact, but she always goes back to sexting him and pursuing this guy, I read this as her dopamine spike during the day.Is there any thing different or better I could do to help my boss? To others she shows herself as very strong but really is sad and lonely.Would you do something, or should I just not get in the middle of someone else's life?
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