full image - Repost: Dosing Guidance for CPTSD (from Reddit.com, Dosing Guidance for CPTSD)
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I (34M) found my way here from mental health/CPTSD subreddits. I am looking for a reality check to build better habits. Because of my upbringing I have no frame of reference for healthy consumption and I could use help setting boundaries and knowing what to look for when I ingest too much for too long. My friends who smoke tell me not to worry but they don't do it every day and live with family. I have a therapist who says I regulate myself just fine, but a psychiatrist that feels I am taking it to excess. Doubting myself causes a lot of stress and I feel my psychiatrist is the most qualified to say anything, personal prejudices aside. About 2 years ago the habit became daily due to major stressors, and I have not had a break in about 6 months, despite wanting to. I only started using cannabis around this time 3 years ago and would limit it to weekends at first. I never touched the stuff before or as a kid. I like to wait until about sunset and I smoke a bowl in my bong (~0.3 g) and then another an hour or so before sleep. On weekends and holidays I often do more, but I rarely smoke joints, do edibles, or dab. On the days I try to take a break the insomnia just kills me and I will get out of bed to smoke then finally go to sleep. No other sleep aid compares and proper sleep hygiene is not enough. I hate to admit I currently feel the need to smoke in order to relax, have fun, and unwind in order to sleep so I am uninterested in quitting altogether. The only times I have had a "bad high" were during flashbacks of trauma but I was able to recover much faster. I am employed, educated, responsible, big dog owner, pay my bills on time, own my home, no legal or physical health issues. I live alone but I work onsite several times a week and I have a good friend network. My family is beyond dysfunctional, hence the CPTSD, so I only keep limited ties with certain family members. I drink beer and wine socially, no hard alcohol or other drugs. My medication and treatment plans are ongoing. I live in California where recreational weed is legal. I have not explored if my diagnosis qualifies me for medical because my doctor does not seem supportive. I know what I like and I also have a lot to lose if I cannot handle it. Any advice and insight are welcome. Thanks for reading and happy Friday!
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