full image - Repost: Possibly heading for disaster (from Reddit.com, Possibly heading for disaster)
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I'm in my final month of my second pregnancy and my mum is coming to stay with us to help care for my 2yo. After the birth of my first born, my mum ""came to help"" and was a JNM. My mum used to have a reputation as a baby whisperer and my sister always told me how much help mum was with both of her's. When mum offered to come help out for 2weeks to a month I was pretty excited.... Then she came. Actually before she even came things were coming off the tracks. We lived in a small apartment but could organise a short term stays apartment in our building. At first she asked me to book for a month and she would come and go as needed (she's a 4hr drive away). That quickly came down to two weeks but we could extend if needed... Then down to 10days. I stayed in hospital 3nights (standard for my country) then hubs and I were home for 3nights before we expected anyone. Here's a list of what happened:- day 2 of being home, mum had given my address to a friend of hers to come by and visit (without asking me beforehand and this was during COVID)- first day mum arrived she immediately told me she had to run some paperwork errands. She proceeded to borrow my husband (to help her find places in the city) and left for the day. - Every time she went out she would leave my dad behind. He is partially disabled (she's his full-time carer) so the most help he offered was reading out the crossword clues while I breastfed and popping the kettle on for me. Sometimes she left him in their apartment and I would have to go up to their room to help him down to my apartment - made several comments about my choices such as using disposable wet wipes and not cotton cloth with warm water for changes (his cold little bum!). - my sister and her two boys also came interstate to visit for 4days. Mum turned to play host to them and organised things with my nephews and husband. This means I had both my sister and my dad keeping me and bubs company which was nice but no mum. - she organised a family luncheon at my tiny apartment for 10ppl which I ended up playing host of. She did buy the stuff for everyone to make their own sandwiches but she sat down to chat with my sister's godparents (yup not mine) so I was running plates and cutlery (8-9days after giving birth)- another day she went to go meet up with a cousin for coffee and was gone half the day (apparently she was just enjoying walking around the city gardens)- another day she went for a walk in the morning and came back after lunch having bought herself a new handbag and telling me how lovely it was to treat herself to a hot chocolate. - she then told me I seemed to have everything under control so her and dad would leave a bit early (morning of Day10). She could come back if I needed. Hubs, myself, my sister and even my dad were really surprised by mum's behaviour. She did see&touch the baby, helped with a baby bath one night and cooked dinner one night or two. She would also text me on her way back from her own adventures to check if I needed milk or bread. Idk if it was just post-COVID or the country girl coming to the city or what but she didn't seem able to focus on the reason she was there.Since then we've moved interstate and have absolutely no support network around us. We have made friends but they've all got kids themselves (18m to 3yos or dogs). When I go into labour, I wouldn't feel right asking any of them to watch my son while hubs and I go to the hospital. Mum offered to come stay 2weeks out from my EDD to help and then to watch my son so hubs would be free to come to the hospital to support me (or she'll come to the hospital with me while hubs stays with our son). I do feel better having her watch my son and staying in the lead up as well but history begs caution....
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