full image - Repost: Mom, I'm so tired... (from Reddit.com, Mom, I'm so tired...)
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I've never done this before and my real mother wasn't what you'd call 'supportive' in any way but my eyes are leaking and this feels like a good idea.I'm so tired. So much has been going wrong and I can't keep pushing forward. A year ago I realized that my husband had completely lost interest in me and there was nothing that could change that. We'd been in couples therapy for three years prior, every time we tried to find a way to rekindle the spark, he'd talk a big game and make big promises but then do zero follow through. He started getting really inconsiderate too, like making dinner for both of us but then eating my share, or staying up until 3am with loud videos when we had to be up at 6am. Never helping with chores unless I nagged him, and never being affectionate unless it was in front of our friends.He also is terrible with money. I split our bank accounts to protect mine, but he makes the same as me and has less bills but still overdrafts every paycheck. He also maxed out a 10k credit card on video game loot boxes and subs he forgot to cancel.So I told him I wanted a divorce and his response was 'oh okay'. He didn't want to fight because it 'would be really hard' and he didn't want to start something if he just knew he'd fail. He keeps talking about 'winning me back' but does absolutely nothing in that direction. He wouldn't be able to anyhow, I've been let down more often than a rentable bounce castle. But he also won't talk about how to divide our assets, so now all that is on me too...That's bad enough, but my best friend who was with me through all of this has a roommate move in and suddenly she's deep into drugs to the point where we can't hold an intelligent conversation. She also quit she job and was leaning on me for money, then got really upset when I cut her off for not even trying to find a new job.And then MY job is just awful. I've been there 15 years and am a manager. Each team should be no more than 9 people and I have 20. I'm not able to do any write-ups so I can't get anything done with bad behavior, I get called at all hours and when I say I'm not on shift, I'm told that I'm salary so I'm always on shift. This week I'm alternating opening and closing days and it's screwing with my sleep schedule.Work is trending to be up a literal billion dollars this year, but they don't have the money to split my team, hire me support staff or give me a raise. I've stopped caring.I'm trying to get out but it's so hard. I'm teaching myself full stack web development (HTML, CSS and JavaScript) and I'm trying to learn how to network but there's just not enough hours left in the day and I'm fighting against my burnout. I have to believe that if I keep pushing down this path, I'm going to end up somewhere better, but right now all I see is darkness and struggle.I don't know what to do. I feel alone and unheard and so very very tired...
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