full image - Repost: For those grey rocking, how are you holding up? (from Reddit.com, For those grey rocking, how are you holding up?)
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Please share your stories and how you are doing/feeling lately. I'll share mine. I've been grey rocking a close family member for multiple years (probably since 2008? I lean liberal). We've had arguments in between when I couldn't keep my cool, most notably summer 2020. In that particular instance another family member intervened and told us that family was most important, beyond political divide (or at least that was the gist). I hold the person who said this in high esteem, and did not want to break their heart (they were older, both of us who were fighting were very close to this person). Our family also has a history of experiencing/escaping a totalitarian regime, and Trump plays into fears of communism (note: I am not here about explanations related to communism and totalitarianism, just giving you the back story), so I am aware of the fear mongering going on and how its working on them. I would say post summer 2020 is when my grey rocking became more serious. The person I held in high esteem passed away pretty tragically a couple of years ago, they also served as a big buffer between me and the person I grey rock. Without this person as a buffer, grey rocking is really taking a toll on my mental health. Our interactions are about once a week in person (but not always) and at least 1 phone call (and their sporadic forwarded political whatsapp message chains that I mostly ignore and they know it) if I can manage to ignore/evade contact otherwise. When we do interact they rant about politics a good 80% of the time (I try deflecting, it does not have a good success rate, there is no trigger other than they have an audience). I will say that I am working on better boundaries, but it's a two way street and the other person is very obsessive, and does not let things go (so sometimes silence, hanging up etc, only delays the inevitable tirade). The passing of the third person in this story has meant I've had to increase contact as I've take on some supportive duties, and there is also a younger fourth family member that I want to maintain connection with (but lately I feel like I'm failing at that, because of how hard it is to endure spending time with the person I grey rock, and because I am grey rocking, it is hard to be authentic with the 4th person). The fourth younger person has other people that care for them, so they are not solely my responsibility, but I do want to maintain a connection with them.I am in therapy (just generally, not specifically because of this family member but obviously they come up a lot). I have a large support network. But I feel like ultimately, not many people really understand this predicament. For a lot of people it's simply "go no contact", but that isn't an option for everyone. I thought, years before Trump, that I would have a chance to go no contact eventually, but a lot of things related to our family dynamic changed that made that harder. Culturally in my case, it is also not as acceptable to simply go no contact with immediate family members. I truly dread the next 2 months. The mental gymnastics is too much.
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