full image - Repost: Anyone else just have a chill poly thing going on? I'd love to hear more positive and uneventful poly stories! (from Reddit.com, Anyone else just have a chill poly thing going on? I'd love to hear more positive and uneventful poly stories!)
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I'm not trying to brag or anything, I just feel like so many posts on this sub are people exploring poly for the first time and feeling jealousy or whatever, or people venting about relationship problems, stuff like that. And good on you! This is a great place for that.But most of the actual positive content we get is just selfies with multiple people in a bed or at a table. (Sometimes they're at a beach or on a hike!) Which, again, great! Good! This is a great place for that too, I love you all, you're beautiful, keep doin it!But I feel like there's never a discussion about polycules that are just, you know, vibin. (Probably because when everything is working out well there's just not much to talk about.)I kind of worry this gives a weird impression to newcomers where they think that most of polyamory is working through emotional negatives so they can unlock the emotional positives. That's really not been my experience at all!I've been with the same 3 partners for almost 3 years and it's basically always felt right and natural. Two of them are also seeing each other, and those two also have relationships with other people as well, many of whom are close friends of mine. My nesting partner is only seeing me at the moment, but she's close with all of her metas and has had other partners in the past. (Covid and general shyness has made it hard for her to meet new people.) The closest we've ever gotten to interpersonal strife is when I've been very busy and accidentally stopped communicating with my non-nesting partners in a way that made them feel neglected, which was easily resolved after having a conversation about it and setting some reminders on my calendar to make sure to at least send my partners a meme every day and to invite them over for dinner at least once a week.Before, when I practiced monogamy, my relationships were universally co-dependent and toxic, where I was constantly putting my needs on the backburner to try to be someone's "one and only." Now, my cule forms a beautiful inter-dependent network of needs being expressed healthily and being met collectively. At this point I couldn't imagine any other lifestyle; it just works.I'd love to hear from people in similar situations!
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