full image - Repost: Continued observations and surprises at my fatFIRE retirement 4-year anniversary (from Reddit.com, Continued observations and surprises at my fatFIRE retirement 4-year anniversary)
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In 2019, I started a thread on "What surprised you in early retirement??" - I was a year in. Now 3 more years in as I near my 4-year anniversary, I thought I'd revisit the topic and see what others are experiencing.Financially... YTD net worth is down about 30%. In strict dollars, those numbers were giving me a lot of heartburn until I put it into context. We're living on about a 2% withdrawal rate in a high (very high?) cost of living area. That's up from about 1.5% from December 2021. Total worth is actually about where we were 1 year ago - the last several years have been really good. Still up 68% since retirement in 2018. I'd been taking out cash to build up a down-turn war chest and still have a couple years where I wouldn't have to sell anything to cover budget. There are definitely more creative ways to have managed this, but it gave me good peace of mind and it's working so far. I'm mostly long-term stock mix plus a paid off house - not quite Bogle due to over-weighting in my former company, but my adviser says if I had to be overweight in a company... I'd picked a good one.Family... I knew I didn't want to be distracted by work while entering the teen years with my kid and so wanted to spend more quality time with them and my spouse. I was one of those almost-cliche people that quit to "spend more time with my family," but really meant it. It was always one of my big RE motivators. 2020 landed with a thud and I got way more time than I ever expected. My spouse still works part-time, and even with just one kid the pandemic schooling felt like a full-time job for all of us. We're also in the spot where our elders are still alive but fading fast. It's good to be able to focus on them and not be quite so conflicted on trying to juggle work and being able to get to them to handle emergencies.Socially... Most of my "work friends" have pretty well faded. I was hoping some of them would still be in my orbit, but I guess no real surprise. Keeping my LinkedIn up to date has been useful and most of my contact with them these days is helping people network professionally or for volunteering efforts. There's some life mentoring happening, but not as much as when we were together in-person over lunch and the young kids asked for advice. I got into an early pandemic tech project run entirely by volunteers, and it was great fun to introduce people to each other for social good. Most of my personal friends are still working and the pandemic put a crimp in doing a ton of group socializing.Professionally... I touched on the social/professional boundary above, but it's interesting watching peers go on to big things. I assume many of them continue working because... they want to keep working? I don't get it, but more power to them. Some of them are doing big things that get noticed on a global scale, but it's just not important to me. Most of my professional awards are in a box... someplace? I think? I'd have to go looking for them. Looking back most of my work tweaked the world for a while, and then it's on to the next thing. I get way more sense of satisfaction now from teaching a kid to drive and watching them go on to be independent. One of my friends who is on the cusp of retiring is on the "slightly chubby" FIRE stage, and figures he'll get a supplemental job if he needs one occasionally. He envisions jobs like hardware stores or other non-specialized work, and is a little worried how he'll feel with the reduced scope, lack of a fancy title, and maybe being looked down on if he runs into former peers. If his plan goes right, he's off to fun adventures around the world, and he has a viable back-up plan... but may end up postponing the fun because of those worries.Social Good... Speaking of volunteering... it surprised me a little how quickly that can act like expando-foam to fill any available gaps in my schedule and start squeezing maybe a little uncomfortably. There's a definite shortage of really capable people with drive in the volunteer space... So many people with those skills are, well, still working and/or haven't reached the phase where giving back has become important. I highly encourage everyone with capacity to have a side-gig for social good before or in addition to hobbies like fast cars and hedonism. I'm already on one non-profit board, and two more are knocking on my door. I was surprised to see I'd done nearly 550 hours volunteering with just one organization last year. I occasionally wonder if I'd have a greater impact just getting a paid gig and just signing over the paycheck each month, but right now what I'm doing is reasonably fulfilling. I also kind of eye some of the big "public good" non-profits in my area like PATH and the Gates Foundation, but most of the places I could see myself there are very much day-jobs beyond my current desired pace of life. I could do bigger and better good there, but it'd cost more of myself than I want to give right now. We give money and appreciated stocks, and that's a super slippery slope. We're still coming to terms of what's a reasonable amount of wealth to keep as a safety net vs. giving away given our relatively young age and launching the next generation.Avoiding the lottery syndrome... It's still awkward having conversations about my current situation. Early on it was "I'm taking some time off." 4 years in, I still hesitate a little to say even to myself I'm fully retired. It comes up during social events of "I heard you left..." or "What are you doing these days?" Peers who are working because they have to react a variety of mostly polite ways. Sometimes it's "you lucky bastard," and sometimes it's a defeated "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to retire." I have a couple relatives I'd gladly give money to help them get out of the rat race, and my only stopper is that they get super uncomfortable even with hints of taking even money for their kids' college funds. So far I haven't had anyone aggressively come out of the woodwork asking for money, mostly I imagine because we're still pretty quiet about it.Lifestyle creep... Expenses are expanding in some directions, but so far we're still fundamentally about the same. We're plowing more money into house renovations that improve quality of life, but haven't done anything radical and we don't see ourselves buying a vacation property. Once time, family, and pandemic allow we see ourselves renting places around the world for a month or more at a time. I like my 20 year old truck - it fits like an old glove and does what I need. I do want more of the safety bells and whistles and a better stereo, but so far not enough to change. I say one of my key "jobs" right now is focusing on health for myself and my family, so we're throwing money at that problem: fancy gym, trainer, clothing and gear, home equipment. I've never before owned so many different pairs of shoes with specific purposes. I don't comparison shop as aggressively as I did before, but sometimes catch myself trading time for money really inefficiently. The old habits that got me here die hard. Identifying priorities and the tremendous luck we've been afforded really helps, and makes many decisions much easier to ignore the cost.
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