full image - Repost: Hello, if you read this, it is something like my legacy, I'm about to die and here I explain why I'm afraid of death and that despite all that, I also leave you everything I could learn through experience how to be a man. This story is not 100% but it is only ... (from Reddit.com, Hello, if you read this, it is something like my legacy, I'm about to die and here I explain why I'm afraid of death and that despite all that, I also leave you everything I could learn through experience how to be a man. This story is not 100% but it is only ...)
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WHY I'M AFRAID OF DEATH : 07/15/2022 ( sorry for my english)These are a few words of relief to calm my mind and internalize that sometimes things don't happen as expected no matter how much effort you put in.I am afraid of death because I have not seen my full potential as a person .I am afraid of death because I have not been able to love or have a family to fight for.I am afraid of death because I have not lived long enough to gather unique experiences that will mark my life.But the truth is that I am afraid of death because I don't want to die a failure. Since I was a child, I have lived certain experiences that have changed my perspective on how to see the world. As a man, I feel I have to leave something, a legacy, a bit of history of what I was at least, because since I was little I was always weak, I had no character, I grew up in a normal environment but I lived experiences that marked my life, bullying at school because of my physical condition and my teeth, bullying with my last name. Few friends and little socialization, I had no parental reference, I did not know how to cope with life, I had to do my best to adapt to the situation.There were times when I was very depressed but what could I do, I took refuge in video games at least there I was someone important.My lack of family education, my inexperience in life, the little family interaction that I had only made me take refuge in video games but I learned a lot from that, I grew up raised by my aunt until I was 16 and from then on I had to create them by myself.You know all those experiences until early age were part of my personality, a reserved boy, ignorant, but eager to get out of that situation because I always knew there was something else out of it.Growing up I began to learn more about what life was really about, I had no idea how difficult it can be if you don't have a basis of how society is governed and how you can succeed or beat the system.I chose a career as a chef but in my move to this career I didn't know how I could make an impact. Similar to Gaston Acurio, I hated everything because of the amount of fat they used.That's when I suffered from bulimia, I lost exorbitant weight because I started to eat and vomit because I didn't know how to lose weight properly, I never knew the importance of the physical development of a man until the end of my years. And this is due to the fact that I always lived locked up, little communication with my mother, little communication from my father on real life issues, no planning on specific things that I could apply. Just a lot of vague advice and generalities that any average parent would give.Still I learned it on my own, after bulimia and saying enough is enough because it was hurting my esophagus I said I couldn't continue that way and started to educate myself. Food and nutrition and its importance for the optimal development of the human being.More and more I was learning and I liked it because I wanted to make that change I wanted to be another person but I still did not know the reality of the world and society.Trying marijuana has been the biggest mistake of my life, and I allowed it because the person who gave it to me was a relative, I thought it was harmless and I did it to be able to get to sleep, which affected me so much because of the braces that were put on me very late. At 18 the brackets made more force to the structure of my already developed jaw which caused insomnia. And I had that. Accident in college where I smoked marijuana and fractured my ribs causing a nuemotorax.My years after that incident were hellish, but my will to live still kept me alive. What my parents did not understand was that the incident caused a number of discomforts in my body and every time I went to the doctor the doctor said that everything was fine, discrediting what he said, you can imagine that frustration.The truth was that the air pressure that had entered my thorax created a pressure on the side of my heart. Occasionally, every time I was in a certain position or tried to sleep I could not do it because that same pressure generated an atrial fibrillation that is to say a malignant arrhythmia that misconfigured my heartbeat and it was dangerous because it was constantly wearing out the heart causing a cardiac arrest.Because of this, I could not get to sleep and as a consequence, not only did it affect more organs but I also had problems like taking pills to be able to sleep.However, I decided to get ahead, I was a year and a half out of college, I still could not sleep, my heart and eating problems were getting worse and my brain was wearing out due to so much bad rest that I began to have small epileptic seizures. This I did not comment on because what could I do my parents were fed up with me at the time. I remember clearly how bad I was and my mother gave me an ultimatum that I had to leave home or work or go back to school.I got a job but in the end I opted for college, it was difficult at first but I was left with a good experience of new friends, new experiences and new people, it was hard to adapt. Not being able to stand out because of my extreme tiredness due to the bad sleep conciliation, I still had to deal with the fact that I was still very weak physically because it was difficult to be able to recompose myself by the same rest. And the few materials I could count on were only my food and my ticket. Sometimes I had to figure out how to make a difference at the university.But I still found the way, it was always the sport, my physical development, my desire to seek something more and be better, my discipline despite going through all that made me remember that I was not doing things in vain, I felt attractive, social and had better experiences in life. Something really wonderful and new for me because I was always that boy who was either insulted or ignored.Everything happened and the pandemic created a new perspective about myself, I started to know myself better and to find a way out of my situation. I feel that I always have the capacity for continuous improvement, that's what I always thought about myself, having lived through so many hardships, there had to be a little light at the end of the road.Too bad that the house where I live is a total fiasco, from the fact that it is destroyed, the constant dirt generated by the dogs that are neglected by the person who adopted them and having to sacrifice myself to be able to. Sleeping in a place in the open because I had no space for me. Stupid decisions of relatives that can drastically affect the life of a human being.But I had to adapt, I had no choice.Now, it is frustrating that I have to live this way, and this is because I just realized that all this is a farce, status, women, society, the rat race, and how those who control the world can affect your life drastically.I say this because I was forced to get vaccinated the second big mistake I made, my mother forced me , my father also, for the excuse that I had to do it otherwise I couldn't get in somewhere.It is to be expected ignorant parents believing what the government tells them. I am the only hope for this family and I am dying. That to me is the most frustrating thing.Everything was going smoothly, I had a new symptom, inflammation of the heart from the vaccine, and it was hard for me to get back to training like I was.God how frustrating.Until one day I had an incident with an infection that we didn't know was an infection. My parents saved money by taking me to a bad hospital where they not only put me on pain killers but also injured both arteries in my arms creating large pools of blood on the side of my arms. Not only that, but even with the infection, I had to wait another week and a half to get treatment, which caused further damage to my organs.With time this has been getting worse and worse and counting it is useless because in addition to this I have taken many antibiotic treatments, one more injury in a clinic and several symptoms and serious pictures of infection and inflammation.It frustrates me because everything could have been different, I have suffered too much and yet I have always wanted to be a better man, I have always wanted to stand out, to be able to give and provide for my family, I have been reciprocal, I have helped those in need because it hurts me to see people begging for help because I imagine that if I am not and something happens to my parents I would not forgive myself because it would hurt my soul to have to see my mother on the streets begging for alms or see my father selling candy with a very old age. That's why I want to be better, that's why I always wanted to get my health back to 100%, that's why I want to be my best version.I learned by myself to never be envious, to have criteria, to be applied and intelligent, I saw a wide future for myself, that is why I am afraid of death because in the end life and other people's circumstances have beaten me and hurt me to the point of being convalescent and on the verge of death.That is why I am afraid of dying, because despite having suffered so much I will not have my happy ending.Maybe God exists and is watching me, he knows that I want to heal myself but my organs can't take it anymore, my kidneys and part of my left lower lung hurt, my brain injured by medical negligence, chronic prostatitis, spinal lubsacion and parasites from the dogs' filth. How can I get out of this , I am not omnipotent, God knows how hard I have tried and still it keeps hurting more and more.What do I do? I don't want to go away like this and apprehend from that I am no longer in control. I go to emergency, I have paid for everything, my parents do not even help me or have helped me with a pill, with an exam, or worse the most important thing, to be able to hospitalize me because the pain is hell. I have gone this week 4 times to emergency , on the doctor's recommendation mentioning me hospitalization , but they do not want to help me , and I have no other option but to continue taking painkillers and lengthening the time more .I am afraid to die for it, for not having left this place of this prison of family ignorance for having adapted to the mediocrity of my parents and being a mediocre too, because I am the most mediocre of all because there are times when knowing that I have to do something, I do not do it because I prefer to play or do something else, so I am the most mediocre, now the only thing that kept me at bay with my mediocrity and my condition was my physical development, but now, I have nothing.But as a man despite being frustrated in this situation I have to be idalgo and recognize , I love my parents with all my heart , they have done everything they could , in their possibilities , no one has a guide as a parent nor anyone has the opportunity to choose where he is born , I am thankful to have lived through all these circumstances and to have been able to form a mature character with a desire to overcome, I love my parents with all my soul and it hurts me not to be able to return at least all the effort and love they gave me, not to be able to at least create more experiences with them or introduce them to my family in a future that is no longer. That hurts me, because despite everything in your most difficult moments you can still count on them and that hurts me and breaks my soul. I do not blame my parents because they can not control the fortuitous circumstances that occur in life, no one can. I just wanted them to see that despite everything and what I have gone through, it did not matter that we could still improve every day.Yes it is frustrating but I want to be clear here, it frustrates me because I have ambition and goals I want more and I had learned methods to eliminate that mediocrity.I would never commit suicide, until the last day of my life I will always have hope, but if I have to go through this, for now I am alone, I have no relatives at this time because they are in other regions, so I will have to go through it alone, and face it as a man. I don't have the money to go to the hospital, but I would have done it already, maybe I would have been diagnosed faster and maybe they would have saved my life. But now, it doesn't matter, the circumstances are different because I don't have anyone so I can't expect anything from anyone.I am afraid to die because despite this is a bittersweet life and despite being on the verge of death I always look at each day as another day of hope.But I'm going to be honest, the only thing I want is not to be forgotten..........HOW TO BE A MANBefore I leave with the pain of my heart, I do not want to leave empty-handed but at least feel that I have left something of all my pain as a life experience so that this can help more people like me to get out of that situation.Because the path of a man is hard and difficult but it is the most beautiful and honorable path, because being a man means being brave, being insightful, being constant, being strong, being creative, being a creator.Because the path of a man is to learn from the bitter and strong experiences of life , build character and recognize that we can be our best version every day.Because being a man means to me , the best opportunity that life could give me .Guidance:Many times we do not know key experiences that can mark make a man's life more durable , give him the tools , so he can learn in life , I think the best experience a man can have is to be able to have a strong and wise father figure and a good mother( something I never had and I learned it alone) , and a low economy , because this way , you give the opportunity to the young man to give value to the times of scarcity and life. Assimilating and learning that someday he can aspire to more.- Your physical development is one of the most important factors for your emotional, social and personal development.This is because part of our difference with the female gender is that we have the ability to develop an athletic physique that gives us the possibility to face different circumstances in life with more property.Crudely, society judges you as it sees you, a physical development will give you a boosting, a great improvement in your self-esteem, socially you will be more accepted, you will feel better and more developed, you will feel the ability that you can conquer the world because it is the respect that you earn for yourself, because your physical development can not be bought, it comes from hard work and perseverance.It comes from the combination of nutritional information + proper rest and a good training schedule, it helps you develop discipline and command respect and it will also help you improve your social interactions because the charisma you develop is much more natural because of your confidence and your sense of feeling good about yourself.Develop yourself physically, be your strongest and most aesthetic version and with this you will develop various aspects of your life that go along with this work.A man's life is not easy, first understand one thing, men are loved conditionally, that means that if you can't provide, you will be labeled as useless in society and even in your own family.By this I mean that there are many things in life that will distract you from your main goal, becoming financially free at a young age should be your priority because the world will not tell you but your financial capability will open many doors to life opportunities. Remember that money is a catalyst of time, and with it you can access many things. But in life there are many distractions, women, television stupidities, toxic friendships, meaningless relationships, procrastination, drinks and hallucinogens or other stupid and banal things that retract you from becoming a person who transcends the sheep mentality, the mentality of one more of the system.For this, you have to seriously focus on developing your physique, your finances and your mind, in order to be truly free in this decaying world. Focus your life on these priorities and you will see that you will be free from the slavery in which many are subjected to. Look above how people think, that in their average are banal and stupid things and do not realize that great powers or people with a lot of purchasing power are subjecting them to a new kind of slavery.Knowing this , you will know that even though we are loved conditionally , you become the prize if you put the real work into it , only of course , if you get to focus on your priorities . why ? Basically because you will be able to identify who loves you for the sake of full convenience and be able to separate them from your life.The strongest and wisest man is the one who has learned to live with his loneliness.Do not be afraid of being alone, do not be afraid of not having friends for a while, free yourself from social networks and banal entertainment that do not lead you to transcend as a person. Because solitude will be your best companion, because in solitude you will be able to know yourself properly and you will be able to identify yourself at another level, because in solitude you will be able to be honest with yourself and recognize that you lack more things to do to be a man of value.Do not depend on the affection of anyone because that makes you weak, do not trust totally or blindly in someone because you can take a bad news. Calibrate people and verify if they are trustworthy or not, you do that when in your worst times they show empathy and strong action of help, action and not just empty words.Never show emotions of weakness in front of a woman, because usually although they can show a little empathy they are not to be trusted because they are governed by their emotions and social context, this makes them unreliable because if in the social context a wrong circumstance is presented you can be labeled a coward or you can betray or abandon the case in which you are living.The secret to be successful, that is, to have the expected results in a certain number of parameters that you set to achieve something, is the constancy that the repetition of that action will lead you to be a professional or an expert in that area by the repetition of the subject.This means that discipline kills talent, discipline is the reason why the poor can become rich, or why an athlete becomes world champion. Now what is discipline?Discipline is the fact of doing something constantly, even when you feel you don't feel like doing it, you still do it, why? Because you are a man and as such you have to comply with what you mentioned. Why? because your word is the most valuable thing you can have, because as a man, we value loyalty at a very high level.So the plan is to be disciplined you have to have this:First :You identify your shortcomings as a person , your negative things , your fears , your circumstances of sorrow or Bull ying that you have lived , unpleasant experiences that have marked you.Second:Now make a list of how you would like to be but write it in a present moment, that is, that you already are, write it this way and every day when you wake up you will read this new positive list that will help you to reprogram your brain and to erase those beliefs that have limited you so much in your life.Remember fear is part of life, but it is a thousand times better to receive a no than to ask yourself what would have happened if?......Third:With your brain reprogrammed , you will create and attract better circumstances in life , but this is created with action , remember , the harsh truth is that , if you do not do it ( action ) it will never come , so the reprogramming of your brain serves as a tool to help you take action even in times of panic or in times of greatest embarrassment , because we learn from experiences.With this, most importantly, grab a piece of paper and identify all the activities of your week.Remember that your main objective is , your physical development , your mental development ( sigma ) , your financial development.The rest comes as a consequence of this good development of the above mentioned.For this , identify the activities of your week , and plan your week within a calendar , you can use any electronic tool , excel or other tool to do this.Life , a good life , is a calculated life , those who are above all ,did not get there by luck , but by a parameter of calculated decisions so that they can give you the best result.Fourth:When your weekly planning is ready , you have to include there objectives that bring you closer to this physical development ( gym or a sport ) , financial ( self-taught studies and an improvement of technical knowledge that give you value within the market ) and mental ( meditation , spaces of solitude with music and internalization , go out and start socializing , set yourself social challenges ) that can help you move faster to your goals that you set for yourself.Fifth::Develop discipline , with this you can do it by weekly planning , that is to say you will know at what time what activity you are going to do as well as you can implement new study strategies so you can develop that discipline that sometimes is difficult to master but not impossible , remember MOTIVATION DOES NOT WORK because it may condition you to do things ONLY when you are motivated , the key is to be disciplined and do things even when you do not want to perform it.This will be a great base for you to develop yourself , please , it is important for you to know that you will need a space for you , so it would be good if you have a room of your own , essential for you to be more disciplined , have your own privacy and have your things without anyone checking or watching them because it is a plan for you.Never forget those in need, in life, I have known that helping in a voluntary way is something that fills the soul, and makes you a better person, learn to be reciprocal and manage your possibilities so that every month you can help those who have less. Sometimes giving a little hope gives you the strength to move forward in any circumstances, feed your soul with kindness, be respectful, but also make yourself respected, do not let anyone pass over you.Learn a martial art, learn to fight because it is something fundamental in the respect for oneself, to the discipline and to be able to know moments of danger and know what to do. To protect those who can not, but remember, do it judiciously and in a calculated way so that you do not risk your life in vain.Finally, generate a networking, get out of the bubble that sells you the television or your social status, generate a network of friendships can give you the tools from different perspectives as well as opportunities for growth in real life. Generate networking, lasting friendships, as I said do not be afraid to be alone, but it is always important to have a solid group of friends in which you can rely on or take impulse to achieve your goals.Don't blindly believe what the government tells you, do your research and you will save yourself a lot of heartache, research what the vaccine is made of, the side effects it has, the sudden deaths it is causing in young people.I tell you this because your most important asset is your health, your health is your most important asset, without it you can not get very far, sometimes the lack of health is the cause of all depressions. take care of your health because with it you will have no limit in your goals. With health you can be whoever you want to be.Please, I beg you, do your research and be optimal and calculating with what you ingest and put in your body, be it food, medicine or other substances, one small mistake and your whole life can go down the drain.Depression itself does not exist, rest optimally and focus on what I tell you, your development, physical, monetary and mental because this will give you the opportunity to meet other realities and get out of the cage of your mind.Maybe this is not all I have in mind, because I have much more but for the moment this is the basics so that at least you are aware that the road as a man is long but satisfying and more when you have become a reciprocal person, respectful and with a mentality that can conquer many things.My most sincere wishes of improvement in your lives, I say goodbye to you with a smile on my face and with the hope that you will become men who will improve this decadent and corrupt society, good, strong and admirable men, men with words and goals, with a sense of help and self-improvement. I don't know if I will be able to save myself, the symptoms are getting worse but even so I will do the impossible to get out of this, but in case I can't, I am only satisfied to be able to help at least one person with these words.Sorry for my English. Thank you for reading this your friend giancarlo a.
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